Day 22! Today is about love. Whether sharing it with someone or a day of self-love. I am going to do both today. I am lucky to have found my Gomez. I also need to show myself some love.
Today I am going to be kind to myself. The last two days were rough. They were a combination of grief and depression made worse by being fat-shamed yesterday. I just hope that today people use their words for kindness. Please remember that you have no idea what others are going through and cruel words can do further damage.
Today I am going to wash all of that off of me and do things I love today. I’m not going to write today, instead, do things that make me happy.
Coffee and classic movies. Read some True Crime. Dinner with my love. A trashy B movie at Trash Palace.
If it was warm weather, we’d even fit in a bat walk, but that will need to wait until Spring.
Today’s photo is all about fur babies. They love you unconditionally. Humans need to take a lesson on how our fur babies love us. If we did, we’d live in a nicer society.
Ladies and Gents. Meet Gino or Steve or Ray or what ever his name is this week. Gino is a pick-up artist. Gino likes to target women over the age of 50. Gino is currently looking for an Educated, Activity 50+, Partner Walking, Biking, Dinning & Theatre. For a good time email email@example.com. If you are into Partner Walking , Dinning and Activity 50+ (what ever those things are), Gino is your guy.
Just when we thought that James Sears political career put Dimitri the Lover in it’s preverbal douche bag grave, when we stopped certain men from coming across the border to run conferences on how to mistreat women, when we finally thought that we could go a summer with out men cat-calling women… along comes Gino.
I’m trying very hard not not email or call Gino to set him up. Setup a date with him and send him into the middle of nowhere. What I want to do is very immature, so instead I am making everyone aware that yet another pickup artist is on the loose. However, I am not stopping anyone else from doing so.
A month ago my neighbour saw his flyers appearing on trees and poles in Roncesvalles. Within a couple of days they all disappeared. Then yesterday, we noticed new ones in the High Park area. I’ve noticed there are some blazing differences from his current flyer and the one from a month ago. The flyer above, he is no longer specifying which gender he is interested in. Maybe he is all about gender equality when it comes to his doucheness. Maybe he wasn’t having any luck with the ladies and decided to broaden his options? Maybe he is an equal opportunity douchebag. Gino has also switched from listing his phone number (as you will see in the photo below) to now listing only his email. Was Gino overwhelmed by all the attention his phone was getting from the ladies? Was he tired of his phone ringing at 4 am? Or all of the discouraging texts he was being sent? Did your dreams not live up to their expectations Gino? I wonder if his phone number is still in working order?
(photo credit Valerie Gow)
I don’t understand this mentality. This desire to treat women like objects rather than human beings. The need to degrade them and treat them like dirt. Haven’t we moved forward enough as human beings to realize this is wrong? How do men like Gino or Ray or Steve or what ever his name is, still think it is ok to act this way. As a society we should be moving beyond all of this, educating those who still think it is ok, that misogyny is ok. Respecting each other, loving each other. In the year 2016 we should no longer be living in a world that still has to deal with misogyny, rape culture, homophobia or racism. If we could put end to the above mentality, end homophobia and racism, events like Orlando would not be happening.
If you see these types of flyers, tear them down. If you see any type of propaganda that is about misogyny, racist or homophobic in theme, tear them down. Speak out against it. Complain. Be verbal. Write about it. Educate those around you. Help bring an end to it. We should live in a world that we feel safe in. Be able to go out at night and not worry about being attacked. Go to school and not worry about being raped. Show public affection and not worry about being beaten up and have derogatory words yelled at us. We shouldn’t be ashamed of the colour of our skin, our religious choices, our gender, our sexual preferences or who we are. People like Gino need to stop disrespecting women. We all need to start respecting each other.
“There are people who have seen The Room and those who haven’t seen The Room.” Neil Traynor
*** There will be spoilers.***
I love terrible movies. They are my happy place. The schlockier the movie the happier I am. I show no prejudice for genres and have watched them all from horror to sci-fi to romantic; silent; film noir; b-movies; romance; expressionist; westerns and comedy. If it’s considered a badly made movie, I want to see it. My current two favourites are Plan 9 From Outer Space and The Screaming Skull. In my heart of hearts I never thought any movie could knock either of those off the top of my list. Who could possibly beat Ed Woods and take his title? Always up for a bad movie challenge, I was ready, willing and open to seeing if this could take the reigns.
For MONTHS now, our good friend Neil Traynor (1) has been telling us about The Room, insistent that once we watch it, we would never be the same again. Finally we were able to arrange a viewing and as Neil said, it was life changing. It might actually be the best movie of all time. How could this be, you ask? The Room has it all. Love, sex, romance, action, violence, blood, family values, long drawn out sex scenes, drug intervention, x-files style disappearance of actors, belly button fucking, more long, drawn out sex scenes and best of all, no plot.
I’m serious. There is no plot. None. Nada. Zilch. Zero! Not only is there no plot, I personally feel that one of the reasons this movie has become such a cult hit, is you cannot, in anyway, describe to someone what the storyline is. There is an amazing Wikipedia page that has a very thorough breakdown of the movie, the characters, many of the issues with the movie and the production of The Room. However, even after reading the page, you still have no idea what exactly this movie is about. You just need to watch it.
The Room is Tommy Wiseau’s directorial debut and what a debut it is. Oh… did I mention that he also produced it, wrote it and stars in it. Mr. Wiseau is a bit of a mystery man himself. He is famous for keeping his past and personal life secret. Even the Wikipedia page about Tommy Wiseau, doesn’t reveal very much. Who is this mystery man? Is he even real? A figment of our imagination? Only way to find out, is to attend one of the many Love is Blind events happening across North America. If it comes to Toronto or even a city near here, I will be first in line to get tickets. After all, I need to know why Tommy Wiseau wears two belts. Although… he does have his own YouTube channel, called Tommy Explains It All (https://www.youtube.com/user/TommyExplainsItAll), yet… he explains nothing.
Social Media platforms such as YouTube and Facebook have helped The Room’s infamy grow.
There are many memes.
and videos of critique.
All of this is helping to keep The Room alive. You could literally spend hours, hell, even days watching the many videos being created to celebrate this cult hit. Oh, and I can’t forget there is a Star Wars Mashup!
The Room has a huge cult following and fan-base. It also has a play, a book , a video game, a Facebook page dedicated to it, a-soon-to-be-released mocumentary, a documentary called Room Full Of Spoons and there is a movie being made about it, that James Franco is producing, directing, writing and starring in. Sound familiar! How did this movie become such a huge hit? It rivals movies such as Plan 9 and it’s huge fan base is dedicated and steadily growing. It is a phenomena with many, many unanswered questions. Like the ones I have, such as:
What happened to Peter the psychologist? Where can I rent that green screen? Where can I find that 1880’s industrial shot? How can it be sunny and smoggy at the same time? Where did that new guy come from? Will Denny survive without Johnny? Will Lisa ever find love again? Did Claudette survive the breast cancer?
Sooooooo many questions!
Back to my opening statement about this movie possibly being the best movie of all time. Let’s take a moment to think about this. When I say best movie of all time, what I mean is best terrible movie of all time. When I watched it, I laughed till I was laugh crying. I was laugh crying till my stomach hurt so bad, that I thought I was going to throw up. We discussed this movie indepth, for hours afterwards, my love and I talked about it as we were going to sleep and woke up talking about it. All of our conversations for the next several hours have been dominated by it AND we have been quoting the movie. I have spend all of my time researching the movie, Tommy Wiseau and am agonizing over what happened to the actors, needing answers to my questions and searching to find out if a “Love is Blind” event is coming to a place near us. I have been feeling all of the emotions you would after seeing a movie that blows your mind.
How does this movie compare to my current top favourites Plan 9 From Outer Space and Screaming Skull? The Room is definitely comparable in cult status to both these movies and over the top in terrible. Does it knock either of them off the top. No, but it definitely ties for top spot.
You have to see this movie. It was even shot so you can watch it 2D or 3D. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V10Px9xbrbU Apparently it wasn’t shot to be a 3D movie, Tommy Wiseau just decided to shoot with two cameras, because he could. When you watch the movie, don’t forget to say hi to Mark.
(1) Neil Traynor is a Toronto born singer/songwriter guitarist/multi-instrumentalist.
“If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.” -Maya Maya Angelou
Ain’t it the truth! There is something about sharing love that makes you feel whole inside. It gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling that you never want to let go of. I’m fortunate to have a group of people in my life that I get to care for, spread the love to. In life we have our family that we are born into (who I love and adore) and then there is the family we get to make. This post is about the latter.
Making a family can happen in different forms, different avenues. Avenues such as children, marriage, cohabitation and many other traditional ways. Or and in my case, a single woman creating a family from a rag-tag fugitive fleet. Yes, yes, I’m quoting the original Battlestar Galactica and all kidding aside, we truly are a lovable band of misfits who belong together. That’s right folks, I’m not really all that traditional in the sense that society feels is the standard.
I’ve been a loner for much of my life. Content to come home to my dogs, write and socialize when cabin fever sets in. In these last couple years something changed, shifted. I evolved. I shed my old skin and like the pieces of a favourite puzzle, I’m building a new foundation and my own non-traditional family. I’m truly blessed to to have found these people.
Yes, it’s true, I’m being all warm and fuzzy here. The last couple years have been this amazing journey for me. The people who have come into my life have changed it and me for the better. My chosen family is a group of loving, talented and beautiful people and because of them and the love they give, I find I’m almost bursting at my seams and not from eating too much Halloween candy.
My point. Sometimes, I don’t feel I’m telling you all enough, how much I love and appreciate you. I never want anyone to ever feel as if I’ve taken them for granted. I know what being on the other end of that is like. It’s the shittiest feeling in the world. I am grateful, but mostly I’m blessed.
Now, it’s show and tell time!!!
(nb/ There may be a few people missing in the photo’s. Am trying to find pics of us together 🙂 )
I must be some sort of Astrology anomaly. My horoscopes are never close. Not even by a hair. And for the most part, I don’t even fit most of a Leo’s characteristics. Once upon a time many years ago, I used to read my horoscope religiously, always disappointed with the outcome. I ever only read them now for entertainment purposes. I’m not even sure why I decided to look at mine today, but the whim caught me. I found a site I used to peruse many years ago and was not surprised to find it was still in existence. The popularity of Astrology will never vanish as it is a true road to hope for many. This site in particular does a monthly forecast for each sign and here is what mine had to say (in a nutshell).
In the month of May I was going to find my true love or a commitment to someone I am already with (1), get a raise or promotion (2) and another horoscope said I would come into a large amount of money, after dealing with a financial crisis (I write/edit for a living, I’m always in a financial crisis lmao). The topic of true love and an influx of cash seemed to be a very prevalent theme in most of the horoscopes I looked at for Leo. (after finding this one, I decided to compare it to a few others) Grain of salt, right? Although, there is still a couple days left in the month. Maybe the stars will prove me wrong. 😉 Seriously, not holding my breath.
(1)(a) “Lunar eclipses usually bring a sense of urgency to make a decision, so if you are dating, you will see your relationship change and move forward suddenly. If you are in love, you may be talking about a commitment in the future.”
ALSO (1)(b)“One of your most festive and romantic days of the month, possibly of the year, will be when Venus links to Jupiter on May 28.”May 28th is apparently the day, don’t miss your opportunity. (lol)
(2) “If you’ve been anxious to get a promotion or an offer for a new position, the planets are lining up to help you in a big way. If you already have a position you love, or are self-employed, this month will allow you to score a major victory, perhaps by bringing in a new client or achieving a very difficult task. You will hear praise and applause – whatever is going on, it’s sure to thrill you.”
Imagine the opening scene of Get Smart. Agent 86, walking down that long tunnel, doors slamming down behind him. Now imagine you’re Agent 86, this is a dream and you wake up in a cold panicked sweat, realizing it’s times to start closing doors. Doors you are terrified to close. Dreams are a funny deal, you can either try to analyze the shit out of them or take them for what they are, your subconscious smacking you in the ass. In my case, this wasn’t so much a dream, as an epiphany, time to close doors.
My biggest issue is I’m a fixer. It doesn’t matter if it’s a relationship, friendship or a broken object. I refuse to give up till all avenues are exhausted, all scenario’s played out, the final straw has been broken. In doing so, I leave doors open a crack, refusing to believe things can’t change or get better. The morning I had that dream, I realized I need to stop leaving those doors open. I need to shut all the partially open doors, move on, get the fuck over it! I was stagnating myself by letting issues, people and problems hang on. I couldn’t write, my creative juices had dried up. I was frustrated, depressed and feeling an overwhelming despair. I’m a writer who couldn’t write, I’d given up on love for my craft and ever finding love again in my own personal life and this terrified me. That morning, I took a very deep breath and then I closed all the doors. Every, last, one. No one should give up on their dreams and no one should EVER give up on love.
Then it happened. The awakening. The opening of the new door. The excitement. It’s been 6 months since I’ve actually been able to write more than just a few lines and now I can’t write fast enough. I’ve revived a project I had a huge hard on for before all this happened. I’m finishing off odds and ends that were pushed aside because I’d lost my desire. I’ve found my will to write again.
Since I’ve started creating again, I’ve started working on my TV series project I’d been conceptualizing. It’s based on my own life as a single woman. I figured much of my life is a sitcom anyway, so why not create a TV series about it. I’ve played with the idea for a few years, the Gods know I have enough fodder in my life to fill a few solid seasons, so… write what you know, know what you write. I don’t remember the last time I was this excited, exhilarated, had such a huge boner for a project. And my boner is massive right now.
I feel like I’m in control again. Though I don’t know what might be on the other side of the door, I’m walking through it anyway. I’ve found the ambition that is needed to make my dreams come true and am ready to see if love comes my way. This girl has opened the door wide and is no longer afraid to leave it all the way open!
A new year and a new beginning! I rang in my new year my way. Out with my ladies on the 30th and home writing on the eve. 2013 is going to be different, I can feel it in my gut. 13 has always been a positive, lucky number for me. I know a lot of you made resolutions as you rang in the new year, I don’t do that. Instead I make lists of the things I want to be part of my year and will make happen this year. Here goes, no particular order.
Friends and the family I made – you made me smile and laugh and wish
Love – finding it, keeping it
The Last Single Girl – a dream and reality
Spoken Word – reading, creating, being
Music – seeing more of the artists I love, discovering new ones and relearn the guitar so I can make my own music
Happy heart and lighter soul
Discovering something new every day
Toronto’s Indie Scene – bigger, better, bolder
Novel – you are almost there
Vaudeville – you are on the verge
Branching out on my own – I got the knowledge, I got the power!
Love, Shortbread And A Woman Named Betty
Dance. Laugh. Live!
I’m not even sure how to start this blog. I have so much swimming around inside my head right now. I have had one of the best weekends in a very long time, all starting Friday night with a last minute decision to go see some live music. This entire weekend has been about being with people I love, adore and respect, about celebrating a community I’m so effing PROUD to be part of and about being on stage with some absolutely amazing talent. In 3 days I managed to see live music, The Dyke March, celebrate my dear friend Cate McKim’s birthday (she lost track of how my times she celebrated 😉 ), PRIDE, reading at PRIDE and see a lot of my favourite people and friends perform. Yesterday actually felt like a great big party with all my friends and family, without the drunken uncle trying to start a fight. It was about celebrating the freedom to express who you are without judgement, about showing your true colours without fear. We live in a city where you can be Queer without fear!
Below are some photo’s from the weekend and a link to Cate McKim’s blog about the events. http://lifewithmorecowbell.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/friends-words-music-toronto-pride-2012/. So many amazing performances and friends in these pictures. (Cate McKim, Kat Leonard, Arlene Paculan, Laurie Fredheim, Leah Walker, Duncan Armstrong, Philip Cairns, David Bateman, DM Moore, Harrsion Fine, Brandon Pitts, Janis Tipping, Iman Wain, Rex Baunsit, Dan McClean Jr., Meghan Morrison, Evan Le Blanc, Stuart Everitt, Myke Mazzei, Jaime Alexandra, Adrienne Smith, Alissa Vox Raw)
Silence can be a beautiful thing for a noisy mind.
I swing hard between needing complete silence to not being able to function without chaos. I have never been able to find an in-between. As a creative person, a writer, I’m not sure I want an in-between. I find when there is darkness and chaos in my life, I do my best work. That said, when there is pure silence I can be efficient, thorough and accurate. Last Sunday I took a day of silence. No music, no television, no verbal distractions. The only sounds I heard were those around me, outside of me. Birds singing, people on the belt-line, the sounds of distant traffic and my own breathing. I don’t remember the last time I heard myself breath. I’m too busy holding my breath in anticipation of what comes next. Part of the reason I have a hard time with the silence is the freaky circus act that is constantly running my mind has to shut down, the rides need to stop, the freakshow takes a very long lunch break. When that happens I have to face reality, the grown up stuff, bills, responsibility, life. I prefer the vaudeville act, actually most artists do. The thing is, I like to be able to eat, be entertained and pref not to be homeless, so, I decided to deal with what needs to be done. The silence helped clear out some of the crap building up in my brain, clogging my creative arteries with plaque. Once I accepted what had to be done, I was able to open the gates and write. Welcome to the new tradition of Silent Sundays!
Since last Sunday’s reawakening I’ve been seeing things in my life without the rose coloured glasses, rather with 20-20 bionic vision. I can see people clearly now. I’ve also been having ‘Charlotte’ moments. Anyone who is a fan of Sex and the City will get that reference. Ok, ok! I have a confession, this horror, sci-fi, martial arts movie fiend, independent feminist type, who HATES the romantic comedies of today, (but is a sucker for anything prior to the 60’s), loves Sex and the City. For those who don’t know the show or movies, Charlotte is a very Pollyanna type, who believes in traditional love and romantic fairy-tales. Charlotte will also blurt out random bits of wisdom, wisdom you would never expect from her. Very…. level headed yet progressive in many ways. I am the un-Charlotte. I don’t believe in romantic fairy-tales, I think love should be passionate and crazy, a journey, not this neat little package that is delivered with a bow to your door. It should be about challenging each other, growing together, and knowing that when the shit hits the fan, you can both deal and will be there for each other. I base love on how my parents have grown and survived their life together. They’ve been together for 46 years and even though they have lived through moments of utter hell, are still crazy about each other. That is what I want and something I said last night to a friend made it clear to me why I don’t have it and why I have been struggling in life as a whole. Roadblocks.
We have been conditioned to believe that if there is a roadblock in life, you either figure out a way around it or break the roadblock down. I am so busy trying to figure out how to do both that I never move forward in certain aspects of my life. An aspect such as love. I am so busy trying to figure out how to make it work, how to fix it, how to reason, causing other things suffer. I do this with my career too. I should be going down road x but keep choosing road y. STUBBORN! Last night Cate and I were chatting about a personal issue I’m dealing with right now, one that I’ve grown weary of dealing with and have decided not to pursue any longer. She asked why and I blurted out, ‘Too many roadblocks.’ I had one of those, stop, shake you head moments. Too many roadblocks indeed. Roadblocks I am no longer going to deal with. Right there and then, I made a promise to myself, when I see a roadblock, go the other way. In my life I have to stop trying to get over them, around them. Are these challenges put in front of me to better myself or make ‘life’ worth living or are they the universe telling me that there is nothing good on the other side, to turn around and head towards a clear, open road to something amazing. I believe it’s the latter. The universe and I are coming to a very firm and solid understanding, when it gives me messages, I’m going to start paying attention. No more roadblocks for this girl.
The road ahead is clear, smooth driving down the route of life.