Month: February 2020

Achieve!

Oh no! Not a yoga post! YES! A yoga post! This is also a post about achievement.

What have you recently been able to do that was hard to do a week, a month or a year ago? Today, I was able to straighten both of my legs for Triangle Pose. Yesterday I conquered my fear of buttonholes. (They still aren’t perfect, but I did it without hesitating — they normally give me anxiety). I may not have figured out how to build a rocketship (don’t do that, also the earth is not flat) or did a calculation to get us to the moon, but I did two things that I wasn’t able to a few days ago.

What were your achievements? What are you hoping to achieve?

Today I’m hoping to get another chapter almost done. I’m leaving early for an appointment so I can get some walking in. Tomorrow I am determined to do a full plank pose… even if for a few seconds. Your achievements or goals don’t need to be huge, they just need to make you happy!

Back to Yoga! Don’t think yoga can be fun! This is why I LOVE Yoga With Adriene! She makes it fun! She also has a Yoga for Zombies video too!

I decided to build my own 31 Day Challenge with her videos. I made the playlist public if anyone wants to do it with me! I’m starting with video #1 tomorrow. The last few days I was picking and choosing videos that went with my mood that day.

Back To Basics

Once upon a time, in days of the past, there was a woman who made her own clothing, made do and mended, was a thrift queen and lived a happy, not contributing to landfill life. Oh hold on! That’s not actually a fairytale… that’s me!

Imagine living in a world where you lived garbage free, everything was made from recycled materials and you never had to worry about your fast fashion ending up in landfill. Take a moment. Let that sink in. Ok. Ready? Open your eyes. Tada! It can happen. It has happened before and it wasn’t that long ago before it stopped happening. In the last few decades, we’ve gotten lazy, we stopped making our own clothing and rather than repair something, even with the tiniest repair needed, it would be tossed into the garbage and a new garment bought. Then off to the landfill, that pile of garbage that grows into mountains of clothing that could have been repaired and worn another day.

Before you start yelling at me, I know it’s not EVERYONE who does this. I grew up in a household that was all about creating your own garments, make do and mend and thrifting. My Mamasita is the thrift queen to this day. Between her and my Grandma Betty, I learned to knit and sew. Later in life, I taught myself to crochet (thank you Carlin for the encouragement and YouTube for the videos). I’ve never really been in a position to run out and buy myself a spanking never wardrobe, not that I would, so I’ve either depended on thrift shops or making my own clothing. The only things I actually buy brand new are undergarments, leggings, and stockings. At some point I’m going to learn how to make my own undergarments and leggings, so the only thing left is stockings and trust me, I wear those until they are literally falling apart. The 1930s/40s mentality of making do with what you have was taught to me at a very early age and I’m thankful for it. I’m also thankful to see a large number of others who do this or are beginning to do this. As a matter of fact there is a huge movement, which I am proud to be part of, of people who sew, knit, crochet, refashion, thrift, buy vintage and make do and mend. Let’s follow with their lead! We don’t need to buy fast fashion!

There is nothing more satisfying than creating your own garment or refashioning something you found in a thrift store. For those who think they can’t do it, you actually can. You don’t need a fancy sewing machine. You can find machines for a few hundred dollars that have the basic stitches, because basic is all you need! Don’t know how to sew, YouTube has a BAJILLION that’s right BAJILLION videos for beginners. All you need to be able to do is sew a basic stitch. I don’t own a serger or a fancy machine with embroidery stitches. I have a basic Kenmore sewing machine. It’s amazing the things you can make with a straight stitch! One of my favourite channels to watch is Evelyn Wood. She is a refashion genius!

If you don’t want to learn how to knit, sew or crochet, you can still help stop the contribution of adding to landfill. There is still make do and mend AND go clothing thrifting. Clothing thrifting is a lot of fun! You can make it an adventure either by doing it yourself or with friends. Do a show and tell together once you are done or take the items you found and refashion them! Anything you can do to help keep landfill from growing is a way to help Mother Nature out and trust me, she needs our help!

Today is going to be a sewing and writing day. I try to set aside one day a week to sew garments and I do my mending while watching a great classic movie or cooking shows on YouTube. I find it very therapeutic.
If you do one of these things (sew, knit, crochet, mend, refashion, thrift) you are helping. Please stop buying fast fashion and let’s get back to the basics!

Shame, Shame, Double Shame!

This week has not been off to a great start. Last night I was starting to get a migraine, likely weather related and fell asleep on the couch. Never a good thing on both counts. No one wants a migraine and falling asleep on the couch usually means a fitful sleep. We were fortunate to have a couple nice days and now there is a shift in the weather again and not only has it given me a headache, the shift may have stirred up some residual memories and feelings. These things I thought I’d let go keep popping up again.

If you’ve read my blog, you may or may not have come across a few posts about being bullied in High School for being different. For the longest time I called it being picked on, but in fact, it’s bullying. In my case I fought back, however, it still affected me. Being treated that way made me feel as if I was even more of an outsider and it pushed me to move out of that small town. I also had to learn at a very early age that I was going to have to take care of myself. No one else was going to stick up for me. It made me tough and independent. This doesn’t always happen. In many cases bullying has the opposite affect and to heart-breaking results.

In the case of myself, I tried over time to not think about it as much. I tried to let those feelings go. Yet, in my dreams it will pop up from time to time. After being fat shamed the other week, I felt horrible for a few days, then I made an effort to let it go. I’m wondering if last nights dream was that feeling stirring up again. Shaming someone will do that.

In the dream, two friends and myself are at a Rockabilly bar. One of them recognizes a man, who is standing by himself, from a Toronto band from the 1980s. (in my dream I remembered this band, when I woke up this morning it left me) They invite him to sit at our table. The conversation is fun. There is some reminiscing, lots of laughter and everyone is participating in the conversation. The musician even talks about how their band is going to start up again now that 80s music is so popular again. Then it happens. He looks directly at me, and says, “You are so fat and ugly, no one would fuck you.” At that moment everything had gone quiet, the music, the sounds of conversations, everything. Then, after he stopped talking, it started up again. He then looked away and said he had to go to the bathroom and the two friends (male) both said they needed to go as well. I then waited for what felt like a really long time and when they didn’t come back, I left. When I left the bar, my feet were suddenly bare and there were shards of ice everywhere. I had to choose to go back into the bar or walk on the ice and I kept walking. Then the dream ended.

Shaming is bullying.

In the last few years I’ve really struggled with my weight. I went from being slender and physically active, to hurting my knee, unable to exercise and gaining weight. Menopause hasn’t helped. I used to have a friend who said things such as, “Hey fatty!” When I would tell her that was a horrible thing to say, she would then say, “Just KIDDING!” In her mind twisting it into a joke made it ok. Guess what! It’s not OK! It’s never ok! EVER!

Bullying and shaming hurts the victims. Every single time. It has to stop!

How did I get to this blog post today? This morning when I went to begin yoga, I didn’t feel like it. I was tired, I still have a headache and the dream was bothering me. I was going to do an intense core practice today and rather than do nothing at all, I chose the Fill Your Cup video. It is a 22 minute video and was just what I needed, also hearing Adriene’s voice, telling me it’s ok to feel the way I feel and it helped. Doing this practice every day is helping my mind as well as my body. During the practice I kept coming back to why I can’t let go of how horrible I feel about being bullied and shamed, then started to feel heart-broken for those who are pushed to suicide because of it. Bullying has to stop!

If you are being bullied or feeling helpless, lost and suicidal I am including links to helpline’s. I know you may not feel like you can talk to anyone, but please, if you can, contact one of these helplines.

Bullying Canada — https://www.bullyingcanada.ca/
Canada Suicide Prevention — https://www.crisisservicescanada.ca/en/

Bonus! Aka Day 31

Bonus content! AKA Day 31. Don’t worry, this is the last daily post about yoga. Some have been loving my daily posts… some have been absolutely hating it. 🤷‍♀️

Today I did an intense video because I wanted to challenge myself and I also wanted to see how far I’d come. It was hard and I shook and there was a position I couldn’t hold all the way to the end and my legs are going to hurt tomorrow! Will they ever! However, if I don’t challenge myself and if we don’t challenge ourselves, what’s the point. I’ve gone through life jumping in to many situations because they would be learning experiences (good ones, sometimes they turned out bad). I would go for job interviews and not have 1/2 the skills required and say I did and when I got the job, busted my ass to learn those skills before showing up for day 1. Hell, I quit a day job to write full-time! Yes, a lot of it is scary, but… we have to not let fear stop us from trying.

When we were kids my Dad built a treehouse. I was scared to go up the ladder because I didn’t know if the treehouse would fall down. Once I got up there, I was terrified to climb back down and had to get my Dad to help. Two days later I stood at the bottom of that damn tree wanting to go back up into the treehouse. I had to talk myself into it, but I did it. I climbed up and yes the journey back down the ladder was slow and cautious, but after that point, I kept going into the treehouse. Yes, mostly to annoy my brother, but… you get my point!

This weightloss journey is one huge challenge. I’m doing it for my health. I went from being fit and slender to messing up my knee, not exercising, being sedentary and then whammo menopause. All of this had me put on weight. Now… I am fighting the battle to get it off.

Who is still doing the Yoga challenge? What have been some of your life challenges?

Day 30

Day 30! Today was a really challenging workout and I loved it! It was also done without Adriene talking. She wanted us to use our 30 days of practice and it was a great way to show me how far I’ve progressed! I was actually able to grab my toes in the seated position (legs stretched out). Couldn’t do that day 1. Also further proof my belly is shrinking!

When I was a teenager, my Grandma Betty gave me an old Instamatic camera and an 8 mm movie camera. Neither worked, but both intrigued me. Eventually, my parents gave me a working camera for my birthday and I went photo taking crazy.

Fast forward a few years, after graduating college for Graphic Design, I felt like something was missing, so I took a college course for photography. For a while, I worked in both fields, but I didn’t feel either stretched my mind creatively. Photography then became more of a hobby.

Fast forward a few more years and I did something I still regret to this day. In a desperate situation and between that fine line of being evicted and living on the streets, I sold all of my photography equipment so I could pay rent. Doing so kept me off the streets, but it took something away from me that I cherished. For years after that, I considered buying a new camera to restart photography, but could never afford a camera or at least the one I wanted.

Fast forward to a few years ago, my husband and family I created Cate and Laurie all went in together to buy me a camera. Even to this day, I can’t even begin to explain how much it meant to me. Though I don’t get out as much as I want. I have been and this year (once winter passes) I plan on getting out even more. It brings me so much joy. More than I will ever be able to express.

What brings you joy? Who made it to day 30 or are you still going. Tomorrow I am starting to go through her other videos. I also will stop posting daily about yoga. I will post from time to time about my progress.

Day 29

Day 29! My legs are shakey after today’s practice! I am so glad I started this practice though. I’m getting physically stronger every single day. Getting strong and building muscle will help me let go of the weight I’ve been holding onto.

If I was alive (maybe I was in another life) in the early 1900s, I fully believe that not only would I have been a flapper, I would have been in Vaudeville or the Silent movies. I must have been. What little kid (yes I was into this stuff as a kid) is into all of this stuff otherwise. One of my dreams was to put on a full Vaudeville show. Though I didn’t do a full scale one, I used to run a monthly Cabaret. Running a smaller show I fully appreciate all of the work that a full Vaudeville show would have been to put on.

One of my other favourite parts of Vaudeville are the amazing posters!

To learn more about the history of Vaudeville, please click on the below link.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaudeville

Day 28

Day 28! And I feel great! {could turn this into a dirty limerick – maybe later}
For a couple of weeks, I wasn’t really losing inches, which is odd, because along with long brisk walks, I’m doing yoga every day and I’m still eating healthy. I am keeping track and I noticed that I will lose, then two weeks nothing, then lose, then two weeks nothing. Apparently, this is how my body loses weight. This time it was 3 weeks before something disappeared. I also wonder if it’s because I’m starting to build some muscles. (being hopeful here)

Here are the current stats on inches gone:
Arm = 1
Bust = 1
Waist = 4
Stomach = 9.5
Hips = 6
Thigh = 4
Calf = 1

I LOVE ghost stories. Reading them, writing them, watching movies and documentaries about them and you guessed it, even those reality-style TV shows about them like Ghost Adventures. If it goes bump in the night, I want to know about it. Do you like ghost stories?

Who else made it to day 28? Two more days to go in this challenge for me!

ZX/81

Please check out this amazing new Toronto band and by their album! It just dropped! You can buy their album at Bandcamp. (click on the word Bandcamp)

Day 27

Day 27! I cannot believe it’s already day 27! Today was another challenging video, but I personally prefer the ones that make me work! I think by round 2 I will be able to hold and do most of the moves except Crow Pose. That one is going to take work. Otherwise, I’m doing pretty good!

Since I was quite young I have been intrigued by Marilyn Monroe. Over the years I have watched and rewatched her movies, purchased and read many books about her (I have kept my favourites) and watched lots of documentaries about her. She was incredibly fascinating and super talented, she was also someone who suffered from depression and a sense of low self-esteem. Many of us can understand that to certain degrees. She had a beautiful soul and died way too young. When asked if there was anyone dead or alive I would love to meet Marilyn is at the top of my list. I would love to have had a coffee chat with her.

As many of you may or may not know, I make a lot of my own clothing. This year I have a goal to make 2 of her many fabulous dresses. The well known blue dress and the red dress from the movie Niagara. For the blue dress I am going to be using the Lila + June Picnic dress (I just need to find the right material) and for the red dress a Gretchen “Gertie” Hirsch pattern. Both I will be making over the next few months! I’ve always wanted to make them as a tribute to Marilyn and this year I’m doing it!

Micro Cinema

Micro Cinema? What the heck is Micro Cinema you ask? It’s a term coined by a friend of ours, Greg Woods. Greg and three of his colleagues run a Film Noir movie night called Toronto Film Noir Syndicate. During a conversation we were having about movie nights held in pubs and Rep Theatres here in Toronto, he cleverly came up with the term to describe what we do!

My husband and I run a monthly b-movie night at See-Scape on the first Friday of every month called Killer B Cinema. We are one of several fun Micro Cinema events happening in Toronto. Our events are inexpensive and a lot of fun. You get to see movies that you may otherwise not see, unless you are already into b-movies. Even if you are, it’s a lot more fun to see the movie on a larger screen and in a room full of like-minded people!

Upcoming Events:
February 19 Low Life Cinema https://www.facebook.com/events/1315184471999333/
March 6 Killer B Cinema – Zuma Lord of the Snakes https://www.facebook.com/events/547387286003455/
March 6 Trash Palace – Spaghetti Western Stunt-fest
March 13 Terrible Toonie TwoDay Fest https://www.facebook.com/events/2517365858518539/
March 13 Drunken Cinema – Friday the 13th part 7 https://www.facebook.com/events/504353596855418/
April 23 Bloody Mary Film Fest https://www.facebook.com/events/199356511198962/

Micro Cinema: