stay the fuck home

Stay The Fuck Home Do You Believe in UFOs Edition

I have always believed that there is other life out in our great big, vast Universe. I think it rather self-centred to think we are the only living organisms. Some will be far more advanced than us and some much more primitive, but they are out there.

I myself have had a few experiences with flying objects that I cannot explain. One was when a bunch of us were ‘camping’ in a friends backyard. We were 12 or 13 years old. Several of us experienced this event. There was a object, quite high up and over what is called The Georgian Triangle. (in Georgian Bay). It was jutting back and forth very quickly, then very quickly accelerated straight up and then vanished. We weren’t the only ones who saw it that night. The sighing buzzed around town for a few days. There have been many other sightings over Georgian Bay.

Another instance was when I was younger. It was a hot summer night and I was walking home from a friend’s house when a very bright, low flying, silent and massive object flew over me. When I got home a few moments later, one of my younger brothers was in the front yard freaking out and crying. My mom was trying to get everyone back into the house. My dad called the local airport and they said they knew of nothing that had flown over at that moment. Again, several others witnessed it.

These are just two of my own stories, so many other people also have their own. In the last few days, The Pentagon has released footage of instances where Navy pilots witnessed UFO’s. Their timing is interesting. A way to distract the US from COVID? Who knows, but I’m glad they released it.

I often wonder if the fact that that I do believe was the reason I read so many non-fiction books about UFO’s as a teen and even into my twenties or why I love watching 1950s scifi or why I keep hoping a UFO would land here and we could have an actual conversation with a being from another planet. At one point I read several books on Roswell, Travis Walton, Betty and Barney Hill, other alien abductions and of course The X-Files. Though fictionalized Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Plan 9 From Outer Space are still my all time favourite movies.

Another one of my all time favourite UFO movies is The Day The Earth Stood Still. I would hope humanity would react differently now.

If you want to entertain yourself with a 1950s B-movie give A Visitor From Space a try.

Have you seen a UFO? Share your story in the comments.

Stay The Fuck Home Guest Post by John Oughton! IMPROVING YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY

The ubiquity of cameras in smartphones has made just about everyone a photographer. However, not all the resulting images are good or interesting.  Many are snapshots of friends, pets, landmarks and the like.  Nothing wrong with them, but to give them value not just as records, but as strong images, here are a few things I’ve learned from too many decades of fiddling around with cameras.

Number 1
It’s more about what you see than your equipment. Camera phones, cheap digital or analog cameras, even a pinhole camera (essentially a box taped shut with a small hole in one end and a sheet of photo paper inside the other) can all produce good photos.  There are certain situations where advanced and expensive equipment is necessary to get good results — low light, faraway things like birds or the moon, very fast-moving things, extreme macro close-ups, for example.  But for the average shot of something or someone well lit and not too far away, almost any camera will work.

So, how do you see like a photographer?

First, recognize that most of the visual stimuli available to us goes unnoticed.  We tend to look for certain aspects, and ignore everything else. Spend a little time, for example around a favourite building or landscape. Ignore the main things and look for the subtleties – reflections, shadows, interesting details, rhythm, patterns and contrasts in colour and texture. Is there graffiti or damage that’s intriguing? Everyone agrees that sunsets are beautiful.  But instead of just capturing the sunset, what about its reflections in one of those all-glass buildings facing it? Or on a lake or pond?  Everyone also agrees that newly-opened flowers are attractive. Where is the beauty in a dead or dried one? “Liminal,” the photo below, was taken fairly close up and looking straight down at a wave washing over wet sand: not a big impressive wave, just an interesting combination of colours and textures may people wouldn’t consider as a subject.

Second, change the point of view.  We naturally take most pictures at eye-level when standing or sitting. What happens if you hold the camera at arm’s length above your head, or at foot level? Of course, it is difficult to see the screen when doing this, especially on a phone, so you may have to go by guess and by gosh.  But sometimes the results will surprise you. One of my first digital cameras was a Sony with a clever flip-out viewing screen that rotated so I could actually see images from these odd perspectives.  Also, we instinctively hold the camera aligned with the horizon (landscape orientation) or at a right angle to it (portrait).  What happens, especially with landscapes or architecture, if you tilt it to a diagonal?

Finally, you want to hold the camera still most of the time.  But moving it around in low light can produce some fascinating blur and surprises.  One of my favourite tricks is to find Christmas lights at night, and then wave my camera around, which allows for a long exposure, due to low light, and fascinating solid or dotted lines of colour.

Number 2
Avoid visual clutter, unless you want an overall impression of density and variety. If you want a good shot of something specific, get as close as you can with your camera, and adjust the framing until that one thing is pretty much filling the screen.  It will have more impact.  The one exception is a portrait of someone’s face.  They won’t react well to your shoving a camera at them, so use a mild zoom lens to stand back a bit. I spent half a year in Japan, and the “less-is-more aesthetic” in much of their visual art influenced me. One tree with a plain background is going to be more powerful, generally, than three trees with a lot going on behind and around them.

Number 3
Play around with composition – the things you include in the photo, and the angle from which they’re seen. One common approach to framing photos well is the “rule of thirds.”  Of course, any rule or guideline can be broken effectively, but generally: avoid compositions that are too static or balanced.  Imagine taking a shot of a lake with an interesting sky over it.  Where do you place the horizon line? If it’s exactly half-way up the image, that won’t be as striking as 2/3rds sky, 1/3rd  water, or vice-versa. If you’re taking a full-length shot of a model, have the person stand in the left or right third of the frame, and compare it with one of them standing right in the middle.

Number 4
Play around with timing.  Another influential theory is that of the great French photographer Cartier-Bresson.  He said that in many images there is a “decisive moment” where a tension exists.  A famous shot of his is an everyday scene – a close-up of a man’s legs as he navigates planks to cross a large puddle.  Cartier-Bresson waited until his model launched a leap between planks… and that was the picture. Also, I’ve found with portraits that the best results are not often the one in which the model is staring at the camera and offering his or her “photo smile”.  Wait until they’re occupied with something, distracted, or bored with posing.  Then take the image that shows their less guarded self.

Number 5
Learn from the greats. Look at work by accomplished or famous photographers and adapt their approaches to develop your own “eye.”  You may not have the equipment or technical know-how yet to duplicate their results, but consider the choices they make in composition, lighting, and timing. Here are a few of my favourites: Diane Arbus, Annie Liebovitz, Tina Modotti, Margaret Bourke-White, Minor White, Man Ray, Bill Brandt, Edward Weston, Cartier-Bresson, Ralph Eugene Meatyard … the list could go on. You could do worse than pick up some of the old Time-Life photo books at a lawn or library sale and leaf through them. When you find a photo you really like, look for more of that artist’s work online.

Number 6
Here’s an exercise to develop your photo skills.  Pick a common, simple object… an egg or rock, for example.  Shoot it as many different ways as you can imagine.  Try it outside in “magic hour” lighting… when the sun is low after dawn or before twilight, and then at full noon.  Try it inside with one directional light, general light, etc.  Try it on a complex background, and  none at all (for example, against a black cloth or paper).  Have a model hold it. What works best and why? Apply what you’ve learned to shooting other things. And my last suggestion: go for regular walks, especially in areas you don’t usually visit, and take your camera.  Get at least one good image from each walk.

I hope this is of some help to you.  Of course, taking courses, learning a photo-manipulating program like Photoshop or Lightroom, joining an online photographers’ group and asking for critiques, getting a better camera, will help too. But start off by applying some of my advice to the camera you already have, and see what happens.

 ___


John Oughton is also a writer and guitar player.  You can view a sampling of his photos at https://joughton.wixsite.com/imagenery

Stay The Fuck Home Learn How To Crochet Edition

I have a little bit of a confession. I didn’t learn how to crochet at the same time I learned how to knit because I thought it was too complicated and I refused to learn how. Then one day I said what the fuck! (I actually said that) and bought a crochet hook, and then put on a YouTube video. This was right when YouTube started, so 2005/2006 ish and the video was about ten minutes long and really shitty quality, but… I learned the basics of how to crochet and I haven’t looked back. So… if I can learn from a crappy video back in 2005/2006, you definitely have a huge advantage learning in 2020.

Just like knitting, I still use YouTube to learn new stitches and techniques. I also have a bunch of books on stitches on my bookshelf.

Below are some of my favourite beginner videos for crochet as well as some pattern sites and book suggestions.

How to Crochet

Books

It’s always good to have a book or two on how to crochet along with some stitch guides. Also, another of my favourites is the Stitch ‘n Bitch book on how to crochet.

Free Patterns

https://www.allfreecrochet.com/Miscellaneous-Crochet/Free-Crochet-Patterns

https://www.thesprucecrafts.com/crochet-patterns-for-every-level-978749

https://mymodernmet.com/free-crochet-patterns-diy/

https://freevintagecrochet.com/

Stay The Fuck Home Learn How To Knit Edition

Remember those many balls of yarn and those knitting needles you bought and had every intention of learning how to knit… but you couldn’t figure out how to cast on, so you threw them into a closet or drawer and forgot about them. Go did them out. You’ve got time now! Also, there are so many resources out there that are free and accessible 24/7 to help you learn! Even I refer to them sometimes when I need to learn a new stitch or technique and I’ve been knitting since I was 10. I know, shut up bragger! Anyhooooo…. check out some of the videos below and get knitting! I expect to see a sweater when we are done this pandemic!

How To Knit

There are a lot of how to knit videos out there, these are some of the best.

Knitting for Beginners

How to Cast On

Garter Stitch

Stockinette Stitch aka knit stitch

Books

If you like to have reference books in your library, I strongly suggest you buy a few books on knitting stitches. I have several on my shelf. Additionally, I have all of the books from the Stitch’n Bitch series. Not only are they fun, they are beginner friendly.

Free Patterns

There are lots of websites out there with free knitting patterns or get onto your Pinterest account and do a search. I’ve listed a few links below.

https://www.allfreeknitting.com/
https://freevintageknitting.com/
https://www.marymaxim.ca/books-patterns/free-patterns.html

Once you are up and knitting, check out Ravelry for knitting inspiration and if you want to get sassy and upgrade your skills, check out Poison Grrls.

Stay The Fuck Home It’s Ok To Be Kind To Yourself Edition

During times like what we are currently going through, we are all trying to put on a brave face. We keep saying we are ok, even when we probably aren’t. You know what, it’s ok to not to put on a brave face all of the time. It’s ok to feel anxious, sad, confused or depressed right now. When this whole thing started, I was ok. I felt good. I already work from home and had a routine. Most people aren’t used to this. On top of my routine, I decided to give myself a more structured schedule. Get up, do yoga, blog or draw, allow myself some time on social, COVID-19 updates, admin stuff, lunch, sew a bit, write, dinner…. etc. There were days that I didn’t feel like doing anything at all, but… I told myself, you need to keep to this schedule. Then…whammo, last week, depression. This week I effed up my neck. (I hold stress in my upper back and neck)

Yup… this girl suffers from depression and anxiety. What brings depression on? A number of things, but one of the biggies…. the news. I cannot read, watch or listen to the news because it brings on anxiety and depression, yet… EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY I WAS LISTENING TO IT. I needed to stop, but I needed to be informed, so I found a summary newsletter that comes out everyday from CBC. When it hits my inbox, I can scan it, read it all or delete it without opening it. On social I’ve muted anyone who is constantly posting conspiracy stuff or angry news stuff. Yes, you can mute people. Do it!

Most of what is making me anxious right now is going outside and grocery shopping. I need to go out for daily walks for my health and am worried that there will be hordes of people out there too. There hasn’t been and those who are out are courteous. But grocery shopping…. eeeeeeee. The last few times my husband has been going in for the most part. Last week was especially tough for me. I now have several masks. I know they won’t stop me from catching it, but wearing them does help with anxiety. It’s ok to feel this way.

You know what else is ok. If you have a day when you feel like doing nothing or you want to binge watch Netflix all day, or read all day or stare out window all day, just fucking do it! After… what ever week this is, I’ve stopped having my overly structured schedule. I’m back to my old routine and it feels better. I’m also not beating myself up for not being productive. Mind you, that has nothing to do with Pandemic Guilt as I call it. (Will get to that in a moment.) I’ve always been that way. Keep busy, don’t be lazy, accomplish stuff. I’ve given myself permission to be a lazy fuck once in a while.

Pandemic Guilt (as I’m calling it) is feeling like you should be doing something all the time. You see all of your friends sewing masks. You see friends working out like fiends. You see friends doing, doing, doing, doing. Ahhhhhhhh! You may also have people trying to guilt you into doing one or all of those activities. If you don’t want to, don’t do it. If you do it and it will fuck up your mental health. DON’T DO IT. Also, feel free to tell people to back the fuck up (it’s ok to be nice about this) if they are harassing you about it. It’s ok to not participate!

Do something kind for yourself during these times. Watch movies, read a book, take three hour bathes, order a dozen donuts, eat pizza… order a dozen donuts. I swear we didn’t eat them all in one sitting. Shut up! But seriously, do something that makes you happy, even if that something is doing nothing. No one is the boss of you and the only one who truly knows what makes you happy is you!

Stay The Fuck Home Sewing Tutorials Part Deux Edition

I am incredibly lucky to have so many creative and talented friends and of those friends several are sewists who do sewing tutorials or give examples of dressmaking tips via Instagram stories. You should follow them all! Now get sewing!

Ask Sarah www.asksarah.com.au

A Vintage Vanity https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJnOck4zrUzFllmzvX7Rhzg

Kirsten Ronald (fashion designer at Lila & June) https://www.instagram.com/kmakesthings/ and lilaandjune.com

Liz Von Villas https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC00iQfZSTRjr0qP8SaytQQA

Sewcial Dee and sewcialdee.com

Stay The Fuck Home Music Part Deux Edition

I thought I would do a part 2 to my blog on music. I wanted to list a few more musicians you should be listening too. Music, is good for your soul!

Angela Saini https://www.facebook.com/angelasainimusic/

Arlene Paculan https://www.facebook.com/ArleneOfficialMusic/

Deadly Nightshade Botanical Society https://dnbs.bandcamp.com/

Derek Downham https://derekdownham.com/

House of Haunt http://www.thehouseofhaunt.com

Myke Mazzei https://mykemazzei.bandcamp.com/

Rexy Spice http://rexyspice.com

Sian Brown/LambDancer https://lambdancer.bandcamp.com/ and https://soundcloud.com/sian-brown?fbclid=IwAR3tb–PnbhqX5x5vrye8nBh9TL_FHbNoJ-QKbmgou1fzuxqlIQOvbIzn-4

Thea Faulds https://nightchill.bandcamp.com/

ZX/81 https://zx81toronto.bandcamp.com/

Stay The Fuck Home Support Local Bars, Restaurants and Small Businesses Edition

When we are finally at the end of this Twilight Zone episode, I am going out as much as I can and I am going to be supporting all of my favourite restaurants, bars and small businesses. I live in the west end of Toronto and the list are my favs. I highly recommend you get out to yours as well. If any of your fav bars and restaurants are offering take out, please order from them and often. It is helping them survive!

Apiecalypse Now Best pizza in the city! http://www.apiecalypsenow.com

Bloomers Every once in a while I will venture out of the Junction for my coffeeshop writing and go to Bloomers for writing and lunch!
https://www.facebook.com/bloomersto/

Disgraceland Punk rock and delicious, greasy comfort food!!! I’m really missing the Poutine Supreme right now!
https://www.facebook.com/disgracelandtoronto/

D&Y Sushi This place is amazing and the staff are gems. We’ve had many family dinners there and they go out of their way for us. My father-in-law is in a wheelchair and my mother-in-law uses a walker. They make sure we are comfortable and my in-laws are served first.
https://www.facebook.com/dandysushijunction/

Fabric stores on Queen Street! Not even kidding here. The second I’m out of isolation, I’m coming at you. I need fabric and all of the notions. By the time we are out of this, I will have sewn through my stash.

FullStop Another coffeeshop writing haunt for me.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Full-Stop/471732279583814

Glory Hole Donuts Ashley and her team and wonderful and their donuts delish! They even have vegan options! I go to the Parkdale location, but they also have a location in the east end.
https://www.facebook.com/GloryHoleDoughnuts/

Hannah’s I spend a lot of time coffeeshop writing here. I really, really miss coffeeshop writing. I have extra love for this coffeeshop because it is right across from High Park. When I need a break from my laptop, I can stare out into the beauty.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hannahs/1612218942405850

Machino Donuts These are the best vegan donuts in Toronto! Sooooooooooo goooooood! They are open for take-out!
https://www.facebook.com/machinodonuts/

Micro Cinema Toonie Tuesday, Squishy Freak Frolic Film Nite, Low Life Cinema, Rad & Bad Cinema, plus so many more and of course running our own Killer B Cinema.

Music Venues! There will be no excuses. I need to get my rockabilly, surf music fix! Music venues such as The Baby G, The Dakota, The Piston, The Horseshoe, See-Scape and so, so many more are going to need you to get out, buy several drinks and dance!

See-Scape This is one of our absolutely favourite places. We host Killer B Cinema there and everyone who works there are truly amazing. They made us feel at home right away. They are open for take-out right now. Please make sure you order from them.
https://www.facebook.com/SeeScapeToronto/

The Shameful Tiki Room Not only am I going to get my Tiki on as soon as this is over, I’m going to have a Tiki dress made and ready to go! I. Cannot. Wait! https://shamefultikiroom.com

Skyline When you walk into the Skyline, you feel like you’ve walked into a restaurant from the 1940s/50. It is a beautiful and fun place to go for lunch or dinner. When we go to The Revue for a silent or classic movie, we always head over to Parkdale for a meal at Skyline. It always completes our night out. https://www.facebook.com/Skyline-Restaurant-121249527918931/

The Revue We have spent many a Sunday here for the Silent Revue, Designing The Movies, and The Toronto Silent Film Festival. We are really missing our time there. We will be first in line when they reopen.
https://revuecinema.ca/revue-series/

Stay The Fuck Home Puzzles For Puzzling Times Edition

Each day I wake up puzzled. Am I stuck in an episode of the Twilight Zone or is this real? Then I have coffee and it sets in again, that yuppers, this is real.

All of this is temporary. We will get out of it eventually, in the meantime I personally need to stay busy and keep my mind active. Every time I would go to Value Village or other thrift stores, I would see jigsaw puzzles on the shelves. I have always had the itch to buy them, but then worry that 1 piece will be missing. So… I leave them on the shelf. Now I wish I had bought some of them! Every once in a while I will see some post about the 1,000 piece puzzle someone is doing and I’m jealous. I want a puzzle! Any kind of puzzle! Today I had that itch again (get a cream damn it, EWWW!) so I went on the hunt to find jigsaw puzzles. Here are the ones I personally liked.

Jigsaw Explorer https://www.jigsawexplorer.com/puzzles/houdini-movie-jigsaw-puzzle/

Jigsaw Planet https://www.jigsawplanet.com/

Daily Jigsaw Puzzles https://www.dailyjigsawpuzzles.net/

Puzzle House https://www.puzzlehouse.com/FreeOnlinePuzzleResults.asp?Cat=Free%20Online%20Puzzles

Stay The Fuck Home No Yeast Bread Edition

Yeast is incredibly hard to come by these days. Here are a few breads you can make without it!

Soda bread

I really love soda bread. It works great for toast in the morning. I personally wouldn’t use it for a sandwich and I never add raisins. I hate raisins.
Link to the recipe — https://youtu.be/PE-jbkbMFzg

Quick Breads

Corn Bread

It Doesn’t Taste Like Chicken is my go to for a lot of recipes and recipe inspiration. I’ve made this corn bread before and can confirm that it is delicious!
Link to the recipe —https://itdoesnttastelikechicken.com/the-easiest-and-most-delicious-vegan-cornbread/

Banana Bread

Everyone has frozen bananas in your freezer. You know… the ones you keep saying you are going to use in smoothies. Ya… those ones. Make banana bread! Here is one of my favourite recipes from The Post Punk Kitchen!
https://www.theppk.com/2011/11/marbled-banana-bread/

Pumpkin Bread

If you dig far enough back into your cupboard, I bet you will find a can of pumpkin puree that is about to expire. Maybe that is just me. If you do, here you go! https://minimalistbaker.com/1-bowl-pumpkin-bread-v-gf/

Zucchini Bread

Really all I can say here is YUM!
https://www.veganricha.com/vegan-zucchini-bread-recipe/

Gluten Free Bread

Yup. I was going to throw a gluten free one in here! https://mindovermunch.com/recipes/vegan-gluten-free-bread/