stay the fuck home

Stay The Fuck Home Guest Post By Philip Cairns

Turning 66 in February, and self-isolating due to Covid-19, has brought back a flood of memories. I see, now, that if I’d behaved differently, or said something different, the outcome of so many past experiences would have been much more positive. It’s painful because I can’t go back and relive them. 

Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor are two of my favourite movie stars. I was going to write a chronological timeline, focusing on their impact on my life. But, as the mind works, the memories came jumbling all over in time. 

My first memory of Marilyn Monroe was when I was eight, playing in the sandbox, in front of our cottage, at Lake Scugog. We went there every summer until my father’s business went bankrupt and he could no longer afford to rent the cottage. We (my 4 siblings and I, plus my mother) would spend the whole summer up there. My Dad was working in Toronto and would come up on weekends. 

My grandmother opened the screen door of the cottage. 

“Marilyn Monroe’s dead. It’s on the radio.” 

Nanna showed me a picture of Marilyn in a movie magazine. (Movie magazines were the People magazine of their day, only way more gossipy.)

“She’s so beautiful,” I remember thinking. It was the beginning of a lifelong love affair. 

I watched a lot of TV when I was in school. I saw Marilyn in “How to Marry a Millionaire”, “The River of No Return” and “The Seven Year Itch” many, many times. I started reading movie magazines around the time of the sandbox incident. That’s how I discovered Elizabeth Taylor. In 1962, the same year Marilyn died, Elizabeth was in Rome shooting “Cleopatra” and having a scandalous love affair with her co-star, Richard Burton. Both were already married so it was hot gossip. Their pictures were on the cover of every magazine. Inside, were stories about “le scandale” and the making of “Cleopatra”. I couldn’t wait to see the movie when it came out in 1963 but it was classified “Adult Entertainment”. I was only 9 so I was too young to see it. 

Then Liz and Dick, as they were called, made another movie called “The V.I.P.s”

I asked my mother, “What’s a vip?”

“It’s pronounced v, i, p. It means, Very Important Person,” and then she explained what that meant. 

That film was also classified as “Adult Entertainment”, so I couldn’t see that one, either. 

I suppose I was precocious. At the age of 8, I was reading the Entertainment section of the Toronto Telegram; mostly the movie reviews. I was nuts about movies. I wanted to be a movie star when I grew up. When I was 10, I read a review of the foreign film, “Night Games”, directed by actress Mai Zetterling. The review mentioned a scene with a boy, in bed, masturbating under the covers, while his mother was reading to him. 

“Daddy, what does “masturbating” mean?”

“Don’t you know?,” he responded, looking very embarrassed. 

“No.”

He hesitated, then replied, “Well, you’ll find out, one day.” 

End of discussion. 

I watched lots of classic films, on our black and white TV, growing up. “Picnic”, “The Bad Seed”, “Suddenly, Last Summer” (starring Liz) and “Something Wild” (starring Carroll Baker) come to mind. I would watch them, again, and again. 

I was an outcast because I was very girlish, loved Barbie dolls and played skipping with the girls. I also loved “dress up”, i.e. drag. (I did have a few girlfriends to play dolls with, however.) My mom would let me wear her jewellery and dresses. The other kids were mean. They would follow me home from school, in groups, chanting, “Philip is a girl. Philip plays with dolls.” I’d come home for lunch, crying. My mother was a stay at home Mom, raising 5 kids, plus my niece, Julia. (My oldest sister got pregnant at 15 and ended up a single mom.) Mom was no real help in dealing with the taunting. She’d say, “When people are mean, you have to be extra nice to them. Then, they’ll feel guilty.”  Well, as you can imagine, that didn’t help matters, at all. 

Then, in Grade 5, Ian came into my life. He emigrated from England, with his family. We became almost inseparable. And he loved movies, too. We got a weekly paper route, The Scarborough Mirror, in Grade 5, which financed our movie going. Every Saturday, from the age of 11, we would go downtown, from Scarborough, on the TTC, and go to movies. We’d see a movie in the afternoon, have a meal, then see another movie in the evening. One Saturday, we saw 4 movies, starting in the morning. The Downtown Cinema, in a basement on Yonge Street, north of Dundas, played double features of Elvis Presley films and things like, “Get Yourself a College Girl”, starring Chad Everett, starting at 9:30 a.m. 

My oldest brother, John, had been going there for years. He’d come home and talk about the Beach Party movies with Frankie and Annette. I was too young to go and jealous as hell. He’d also go to all the amazing clubs on Yonge Street, in the 1960s, and see the soul singers. Toronto, at that time, had wonderful live entertainment. The black transgender soul singer, Jackie Shane, was very popular. I was too young to get into the clubs. John would rave about Jackie and tell stories about her. (Jackie was living as a man, back then.) I was so upset that I couldn’t see her live. 

Judy Garland played at the O’Keefe Centre, in 1965, and I couldn’t see her, either. (I couldn’t afford the tickets.)

When I was 11, I managed to get a modeling agent and a talent agent for acting jobs. My first go-see was for a colour spread in the Toronto Telegram. I was interviewed by two men in a room at the Judy Welch Modeling Agency. It was quite obvious they didn’t like me. In the waiting room, one of the mothers told me about Producers’ Services, a talent agency run by Molly Petty, Dini Petty’s mother. I went to an interview with Molly and she sent me on an audition for a TV commercial. Get this: It was in a hotel room at the King Edward Hotel. I went downtown, by myself, to the audition, at 11 years old!! Of course, I was nervous. The hotel room was a suite with a living room and a bedroom. I saw a well-dressed middle aged woman come out of the front door of the hotel room. I recognized her from TV. She smiled at me with very sympathetic eyes. In 2020, can you imagine letting your 11 year old son go to a hotel room, alone, to an audition?! And my parents thought nothing of it. It never occurred to me that I could possibly be in danger. It WAS a legitimate audition. I didn’t get the gig. Neither agent sent me out, again. My parents wouldn’t pay for proper headshots. All I had were snapshots taken by my brother’s best friend, who shot pictures for the Scarborough Mirror.

In Grade 9, Ian and his family moved back to England, just before Christmas. I was devastated. However, we were pen pals for years. I even visited him in England, the summer before Grade 13. That’s where I saw the gay-themed British film, “Sunday, Bloody Sunday” and Ken Russell’s wild and brilliant, “The Devils”, by myself, in London, both in one day. Six months later, I came out to Ian. He wrote back wishing me well, “in my new life”, and I never heard from him, again. 

The fall before Ian left, my father paid for me to take acting lessons with Jack Medhurst, a gay, middle aged, Toronto actor. He had a studio and a 50 seat theatre on the second floor of a building at Church and Carlton. (The building is still there.) I was 13 and 14 in an adult class. I was elated and terrified. We did improvisation and Jack taught theatrical make-up, as well. I was also in 3 children’s plays that he directed. I adored acting. I worked with so many excellent actors and would stay behind to watch them rehearse adult plays, such as, “Barefoot in the Park”. 

During the run of the first play, I got a splitting headache from nerves. After I exited, I threw up in the wings. Three other actors, also playing pirates, exited right after me, stepping over my vomit. 

I studied with Jack for one year. My dreams of stardom came crashing down when my mother said they couldn’t afford to send me for a second year. (“We can’t afford it,” was a mantra, all through my youth.) 

When I was 11, I had two girlfriends. Louann was a foot taller than me. We dated for a year or so. We would slow dance at parties with me standing on a chair. She was a fully developed woman and very sexually precocious. We were the same age but I had yet to go through puberty. She was always showing me her naked body. One day, Louann and I were fooling around in her basement. I was trying to remove her bikini top. She was giggling and flipped over onto my wrist and broke it. (At 9, I broke the other wrist when a bully tripped me on a skating ring.)

With Ian gone, and acting school over, I became a loner. I went to movies on my own. I sent away for a series of books called “The Films of…” One of them was ‘The Films of Marilyn Monroe’. I still have it. The first bio I read about Marilyn was, “Norma Jean”, by Fred Lawrence Guiles. I bought other books about her, as well. I’ve only seen her films on TV, VHS and DVD. The only time I ever saw her on the big screen was a few years ago at a very crowded Dundas Square. They were playing “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes”. I had seen it many times, already, so I only stayed for 10 minutes. The first time I saw “The Misfits” was on my sister’s black and white set in our basement. The tube was old so the actors looked like little people. I had wanted to see it for years and was totally enthralled. Half an hour before it was over, my sister came home, with her date, and made me turn it off. I was so upset. 

In high school, I didn’t have a part time job so I couldn’t afford to see many movies, except on TV. I was gaga for Classic Films. I spent my whole adolescence sleep deprived because I was always watching the Late Show. That created lots of fights with my mom. She believed that everyone should go to bed at 11 pm. I, however, loved the quiet of the night. 

I would go through the TV Guide, circling all the movies I wanted to see. Sometimes, I would watch 2 movies, on TV, in one day. And I had favourite actresses, like Anne Baxter and Lois Nettleton, who did a lot of TV movies and guest shots on series. I was in heaven. And, of course, there was always Marilyn. In Grade 12, one of her movies was on afternoon TV. I desperately wanted to see it. I asked mom if she would write me a note saying I had a dentist appointment. . 

“Okay,” she said. “You’ve been working very hard at school. You deserve it.” 

Liz wasn’t on TV as often as Marilyn was. A year after its release, “Cleopatra” was reclassified so I finally got to see it. It was a visually gorgeous film but rather boring for someone so young. 

I saw a lot of racy Italian films on TV, as a teenager. They were always cut to ribbons and badly dubbed into English. 

Ian wasn’t the first best friend to move away. John Weaver was my best friend in Grades 1 and 2. Then he moved away, too. I learned, at a young age, that friendship can be an ephemeral thing. I had been observing John in school and decided I wanted to be his friend so I followed him home to see where he lived. I boldly knocked on the door. His mother answered. 

“John invited me over to play,” I lied. 

John swore he hadn’t invited me. His mother scolded him and asked me in. We played and I stayed for dinner and we became best friends. 

Fast forward to 2005. I played a drag queen in a play, in a small theatre, at Take a Walk on the Wildside, a B & B/boutique for drag queens. I became friendly with Chrissy, one of the drag queens. We’d chat in the dressing room as I prepared for the play and he got ready to go out on the town. A few years later, Chrissie was hospitalized with cancer. The owner of the boutique asked me if I would help pack up his stuff, on Boxing Day, because he’d sold his house. I thought to myself, “Why am I doing this on Boxing Day?” I had nothing else planned and I figured it’s always a good thing to help people. In his bedroom, I picked up an inactivated credit card sitting on a dresser. The name on it was John Weaver. Right then, the phone rang. It was Chrissie calling from the hospital to see how things were progressing. I told him I had found the card and asked him if he went to St. Andrews Public School. It was the same John Weaver! He died soon after but I did get to visit him one more time in the hospital. So I knew him as a very young child and was reunited with him, at the end. 

One incident connected with movie-going sticks out in my mind. I was 16, walking up Yonge Street after seeing an afternoon movie. There was a 30 something woman walking with her young son. Following them was a middle aged street person, saying lewd and sexually explicit things to the little boy. It was truly shocking. The mother was saying, “Oh, you’re a horrible person”, trying to get away from him. The little boy had a silly smirk on his face. I can’t imagine he understood what was being said to him. To this day, I can’t forget it. 

 “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf”, starring Liz and Dick, was released to great fanfare in 1966. I was only 12 so that was another film I wasn’t allowed to see. It was very controversial for its time, using very frank language for the sixties. My parents went to see it and came home raving. I eventually saw it, a few years later, severely censored, on TV. It was brilliant despite the hack job.

I wanted to be an actor from the age of 4, watching The Mickey Mouse Club on TV, wishing I were one of the children on the show. Annette Funicello, one of the Mouseketeers, was one of my favourite actresses, along with Hayley Mills.  I would sit in front of the TV, in semi drag, watching the show. I used socks for breasts and rolled up long underwear as a wig. 

When I was 13, “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” and “Butterfield 8”, both starring Liz, were rereleased on a double bill. Ian’s mother forbade him to go, saying he was too young for such movies, so I saw it with a sibling. Even at that age, I could understand that “Cat” had a gay subtext, even though it had been totally neutralized compared to the play. A child’s admission price was 35 cents. 

Now, as an adult, I have so many of Marilyn and Elizabeth’s films on DVD or VHS, as well as numerous books about them. When Liz died, Christie’s published two fabulous catalogues of her jewels. I had thrown out my bed because of a bed bug outbreak in my apartment building. With $99 in the bank, enough for a new futon or the catalogues, I chose Liz over my own comfort. I’ve spent many happy hours drooling over pictures of her magnificent jewellery. I never got around to buying a new bed. 

Nowadays, I really don’t enjoy going to the movies. There are too many distractions from rude, inconsiderate people. I go, perhaps, once a year. I’d much rather watch a film from the comfort of my home. But I still love movies and I still love Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor.

For more about Philip, please check out his website! philipcairns.com

Stay The Fuck Home Guest Post by Chantal!

Hi there!  My name is Chantal and I run a nifty little business called Toronto Cemetery Tours.  I help people relive history while walking through the city’s beautifully landscaped graveyards.  Most of my tours are themed and I like to focus on people and facts that are not always easy to find out in just a simple Google search.  Think Victorian diseases, Escapes Slaves, Murder, and the Women who built our fine country.  There is so much history buried beneath our feet and I have a passion for digging it up and sharing it with you.  Including this little-known tidbit…. 

In these strange times, let’s wish a strange happy birthday to Herman Webster Mudgett, born this day, May 16th  in 1861. You may better know him as the serial killer H.H. Holmes.

Holmes is recognized as one of the United States’ first serial killers. He built a hotel in Chicago now better known as “The Murder Hotel”. During the 1893 World’s Fair he would lure people there, then kill them after they became lost in the hotel’s confusing and labyrinthine rooms and hallways. He is said to have killed anywhere from 50 to 200 people, mostly young women. 

His connection to Toronto stems from an insurance scam Holmes tried to capitalize on. He killed Ben Pitezel, a long-time conspirator, and stole away with his wife and children. Through a bizarre series of events, the con-man ended up in Toronto with two of the Pitezel girls, Alice and Nellie. Here, Holmes killed them and buried their bodies in the cellar of the house he was renting at No 16 Vincent Street. The building has long since been demolished and the street itself was incorporated into Bay Street. 

Not long after, the killer returned to Chicago and his unthinkable crime was discovered. Upon his capture, he has this to say of his life, “I was born with the devil in me. I could not help the fact that I was a murderer, no more than the poet can help the inspiration to sing. I was born with the evil one standing as my sponsor beside the bed where I was ushered into the world, and he has been with me since.” For his multiple crimes, H.H. Holmes was executed by hanging in Philadelphia on May 7, 1896. 

The bodies of his two Toronto victims were buried in an unmarked grave in St. James Cemetery, one coffin above the other, in a space not far from the front gates. 

If you’re interested in reading more about serial killer H.H. Holmes pick up the book “The Devil in the White City” by Erik Larson. 

To learn more about Toronto Cemetery Tours or to book your own private tour when we no longer have to stay the fuck home, email info@torontocemeterytours.com or check out my social media:  

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TorontoCemeteryTours/ 

Instagram:  @TorontoCemeteryTours 

Twitter: TOCemeteryTours  

See you in the cemetery! 

Stay The Fuck Home Honky Tonk Music Edition

This one is for you Kirsten!

Toronto’s multi-diversity also applies to it’s music scene. You can find every genre of music available and once we are out of pandemic jail, please get out and support local, indie musicians. My favourite genre/scene in Toronto is the Rockabilly and Surf Scene. It just makes my heart happy. A little side note, one of my goals this year was to start learning Jive and Swing dancing, then… well we are all aware of what happened.

There is a new style of music I am also a fan of, though I’m sure this is a shock to my father. If you are a Rockabilly fan and get out to see bands playing at places such as The Dakota, Cadillac Lounge (sadly closed now), The Tennessee, The Cameron House, The Local (to name a few) you will have definitely heard some Honky Tonk!

Due to COVID-19, we unfortunately can’t get out to see live music right now, but in the meantime we can stream it! Below I have put together a list of Toronto (and area) artists who are known for their amazing Honky Tonk stylings! Please support them by buying their music and merch!

Matt Allen plays Blues/Rockabilly and Honky Tonk! You can stream his music on ReverbNation!

The Honky Tonk Zeros can be seen playing often in Toronto. They have a new album coming out soon! http://www.thehonkytonkzeros.com/

Red & The Ramblers has a new video out at the moment and it really hits on what is happening in Toronto right now. https://www.redandtheramblers.com

The Hamstrung Band can be seen quite often at The Local in Roncesvalles.

Sean Burns is not local to Toronto, rather in Winnipeg, but you should still check him out! http://www.seanburns.ca/

Colonel Tom and the American Pour can also be seen in Toronto and can be found over on Bandcamp! Right now 100% of sales goes to the bands. Bandcamp has kindly waived fees. He may even pop-up on Facebook doing a live performance from time to time!

The Rizdales are from London, Ontario and are another fun Honky Tonk band that play in Toronto often! https://www.rizdales.com/info

There are so many more incredible musicians playing in our city. This is just a taste of some Honky Tonk style music. If you have others you want to mention, please post them in the comments below.

Stay The Fuck Home Potato Potato Edition!

Due to COVID there is apparently an over abundance of potatoes in storage right now and due to this the cost of buying them at a fruit stand or grocer should be a lot cheaper than in past. So… let’s get out there and buy us some potatoes.

Believe it or not, there are a lot of people who don’t know how to cook potatoes. I know. I know. It’s something that seems relatively easy, yet, can be frustrating all the same. I am posting a few links to potato cooking basics and a few fancy recipes for those who have their tater skills down.

Roast https://www.spendwithpennies.com/simple-herb-oven-roasted-potatoes/

Baked https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-bake-a-potato-in-the-oven-165615

French Fries https://smittenkitchen.com/2017/03/easiest-french-fries/

Potato Wedges

Scalloped

Shepherd’s Pie

Curry Shepherd’s Pie https://www.bosh.tv/recipes/curry-shepherds-pie

Potato Buns This one an be easily veganized.

Stay The Fuck Home The Roller Derby Girl Edition

Ever since I can remember I’ve wanted to be a Roller Derby Girl. Many, many moons ago, I was even going to try out, then I fucked up my knee and that dream was temporarily blown. Recently, I started getting the itch again seeing posts of my friend Renae’s Roller Derby team. Also, it’s a really effing good work out! However, it will need to wait, heck, I don’t even own skates any more. A girl is never too old to dream though.

How did I originally fall in love with Roller Derby? Believe it or not, after watching a re-run of Kansas City Bomber with my Papasita. The movie itself is sensational and showy, only showing the Hollywood version of Roller Derby, but it got me interested. I then started watching 1950s footage of women’s Roller Derby, started reading up on what it really was, the rules, about the teams and really fell in love. I grew up in a small town and we sadly didn’t have a league, but that didn’t stop me from harassing my parents until they bought me a pair of skates. Luckily, our arena had roller skating every weekend and I was there every opportunity I had. That’s another thing I’m really missing right now, roller skating.

I digress. More on actual Roller Derby! The first game of Roller Derby was played in 1935 in Chicago, Illinois, USA and was banked-track roller-skating marathons. I love that the Roller Derby was originally an extension of dance-a-thons, walk-a-thons. A truly depression era twist to it. It wasn’t until the 1940s when Roller Derby became a professional sport. If you want to dive into the full history of Roller Derby, Wikipedia has a really good article! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_roller_derby

The Rules from the WFTDA website.

https://rules.wftda.com/summary.html

And a video for those who want a quick summary!

1950s Roller Derby If you are willing to search there are some great videos of footage of live bouts from the 1950s on YouTube. This one is pretty good quality.

Modern Day Roller Derby Toronto Roller Derby vs Queen City Roller Girls

If you want to watch a few Hollywood movies about Roller Derby here are two suggestions!

Whip It

Kansas City Bombers

If you would rather read a lovely, fun fictional tale, my friend Heather Wood has a book called Roll With It. I highly recommend this.

Leagues According to the WFTDA there are currently 454 WFTDA Member Leagues on 6 continents. For the full list, so you can go check out some bouts once we are out of pandemic jail, click here!

If you live in Toronto or surrounding area, here are our teams, please get out to hoot and holler them on as soon as we can!

Durham Region – Durham Region Roller Derby — https://wftda.com/wftda-leagues/durham-region-roller-derby/
Hamilton – Hammer City Derby — https://wftda.com/wftda-leagues/hammer-city-roller-derby/
Toronto – Toronto Roller Derby — https://wftda.com/wftda-leagues/toronto-roller-derby/
All of Canada (the website copyright is 2017 — not 100% sure how up-to-date this list is) https://www.rollergirl.ca/rollerskaters.html
Canadian Flat Track Stats (also not sure how up-to-date this is) — http://flattrackstats.com/teams/results/canada-travel-team

Stay The Fuck Home Dance Edition

The other day I saw a post about a line-dancing instructor who, because she couldn’t teach in a classroom, took it to the streets of her neighbourhood. This is a really great way to dance, get some exercise in and still be able to physical distance. Though I personally am not into line-dancing, I would still be up to someone doing other types of dance where we could still physical distance.

There are a variety of dance moves you can easily do while safely physically distancing. If you know how to teach any of these, maybe bring it to the streets of your neighbourhood. If you don’t already know the moves, learn them and start a community physical distance dance party.

If you don’t want to take it to the streets, why not start a virtual dance party!

The Stroll is both a slow rock ‘n’ roll dance and song that was popular in the late 1950s. To perform The Stroll, you would have two lines of dancers, men on one side and women on the other facing each other. You will then move in place to the music. If you want to get fancy, each paired couple then steps out and does a more elaborate dance up and down between the rows of dancers. Just make sure you keep 6 feet apart at all times!

Check out Jive Space and Black Cat Boogie! Once we are out of pandemic jail, they will be back at giving lessons! Black Cat Boogie has a few events pending, so check those out on Facebook as well. In the meantime, there are some YouTube Videos that give you the basics.

Here are a few videos to get you started.

The Charleston was a very popular dance in the 1920s and really is a lot of fun! We need to bring it back!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P96axzkWnNY
The original
And easy lesson

The Twist is not only a song, but was a dance made popular by Chubby Checker, but it’s a fun work out! Click here for a fun article about the story of The Twist!

If you want to keep your dance moves at home, a good friend of mine, Katie Laplante has a video on her YouTube channel and she has a video where she teaches you some Latin dance moves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXDU1WXSvSs

Stay The Fuck Home Paint By Numbers Edition

(For the next little while, I will be posting every other day)

As I mentioned in a previous post, when I was a kid, I loved doing paint by number! I especially liked doing the ones that had velvet on them! Now I want to start doing those again!

To get you started, I’ve included links to online and downloadable paint by number!

http://coloritbynumbers.com/online/book/flowers

https://www.creativeinchicago.com/2019/04/paint-by-number-free-download.html

https://www.winniespicks.com/blogs/painting/free-printable-paint-by-numbers

https://www.thegoldhive.com/blog/2020/4/12/a-free-downloadable-coloring-page-paint-by-numbers-of-my-tree-mural

Stay The Fuck Home And Join A Sing-a-long Edition

Some of us sing in the shower and some of us love to sing in a group, especially, when you are shy about letting others hear your voice. Belting out a song is good for your soul, helps with anxiety and damn it Jim, it’s just fun! There are lots of people out there doing virtual sing-a-longs on a variety of social media platforms. Here are a few that looks like a lot of fun!

One of the most famous sing-a-long group Choir! Choir! Choir! Has been hosting virtual sing-a-longs all over the world! Check their Facebook page for upcoming events.

If you are looking for a way to keep your kids engaged, Siân Brown has been doing songwriting workshops/sing-a-longs with kids. The results are wonderful and a lot of fun! Siân is a music therapist and we all could use a little bit of that right now.

Tundra Books are having virtual storytimes and sing-a-longs. This is another way to keep your kids engaged.

Every Friday there is a Zoom Big Gay Sing-a-long presented by Sing The Easy Way. It’s free and looks like an absolute blast! This one takes place in England.

With a title like Carradine’s Cockney Sing-a-long, um, yes please! This sounds like it would be an absolute blast! It looks like they post the lyrics for each upcoming sing-a-long on their website and goes live on Facebook every Thursday from 8.30-9.30pm. (this is also England time)

I’m personally thankful for that we have technology that still allows us to be together when we need to be apart. Zoom, Facebook Live and Instagram Live are a few platforms that have made this possible.

If you know of any other virtual sing-a-longs, please post them in the comments.

Stay The Fuck Home Real Talk Edition

What day or week are we on with Pandemic Jail? I’ve actually lost count. I’m sure most of you have as well. I thought I would take a break from posting my usual tips and tricks or weird content to talk about how I’m feeling. If this isn’t your thing, it’s ok, something fun, hopefully helpful or weird will be posted tomorrow I’m sure.

I’m and introvert, who in all honesty is ok with self-isolation. I was a weird kid who hid in her room when people were over or went off and sat under a tree to read at outdoor functions. I’ve freelanced off and on through out my life and am used to working at home, but wooooo weeeeeeee, there is a huge difference between being used to working at home and being stuck there or 7 or 8 or what that actual fuck week is this? If this girl is over it…

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. In Ontario some businesses are beginning to open again. It will be a slow trickle till everything is open, but this is a beginning. It’s giving me some hope that I will be able to see my friends soon, be able to start doing Killer B Cinema again soon, go out to events, see silent films again at The Revue, eat at our favourite restaurants, be able to buy fabric again!

Fabric? Why is that a top priority when I get out? Because this girl does creative things, including sewing her own clothing to stay sane. That is fucking why? I’m actually running out of things and I had a pretty generous stash before all of this happened. Who knew I could actually run out of these things!

But… back to real talk. That light at the end of the tunnel, it’s really there and we are finally starting to get there and you know what that means? It means we need to pull our britches up a bit more and keep doing what we are doing, because it is fucking working! I know most of us are getting impatient, hell, I’m getting impatient, however, if we keep on our path we will be let out of Pandemic Jail sooner than later. Please don’t jump the gun! If we do this right, if we keep our minds and continue to be patient, we may stop a second wave or if there is one, it will be minimal. DON’T MAKE ME LOSE HALLOWEEN!!!!

Seriously though, let’s keep up with the amazing work we are doing. Let’s get out of Pandemic Jail because of good behaviour and not because we broke out! Because they will catch us and they will throw us back in, with added time!

WE’VE got this!

Stay The Fuck Home The Something Creepy Edition

I’ve always leaned more towards the creepy than the delightful. I prefer the world of creepy things. Haunted houses, bats, spiders, gothic novels, horror movies, spooky stories and Victorian Death Photography. I know many of my friends appreciate these things as well. I know that my tastes either turn people on or scare them away, however, I know everyone has a week bit of interest in the darker side of things. For today’s blog post, I am going to give you things to read or watch to either entertain you or educate you! Let’s be macabre together!

Haunted houses! I have always wanted to live in a creepy old, ghost filled Victorian. Nice ghosts of course. No one wants to live with assholes! Especially, those who can walk through walls.

Bats! If you been reading my blog. You know I love them! Go check out this article!

Spiders come in all shapes and sizes and we have a few living in our home. I know many of you are afraid of them, but trust me, a lot of them are harmless to humans and keep pests at bay in your home. If you see one, don’t kill it. If you really can’t stand it being in your home, carefully remove it.

Gothic novels are one of my favourite things to read. Frankenstein, Dracula, Varney the Vampire, Jane Eyre, the works of Charles Dickens, Edgar Allan Poe, and many, many more! You can read many for free on Gutenburg.

Horror movies have been my favourite way to kill a couple hours. See what I did there. Kill a couple of hours… get it? Nevermind.

The classics such as Universal Monsters (Frankenstein, The Mummy, Creature From The Black Lagoon, The Werewolf, Dracula), or silent horror are my my all time favourites.

Spooky ghost stories are best told right before bed so you can have delightful nightmares! At least that is my favourite time to read them. This website has some good flash horror fiction if you can only handle it in a small bite at a time.
https://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2018/06/ghost-stories/

Victorian Death Photography (aka memento mori photography) is one of those topics that has a lot of fiction attached to it. It was a real thing, don’t at me about the fiction part. But there are many photos out there claiming to be Victorian Death Photography, aka , when in fact it’s a regular photo.

Atlas Obscura has a great article about Victorian photography and the contraptions used to help subjects still while the photo was being taken. It was necessary for the subject to be still because Daguerretype camera‘s required it due to the long exposure. Some contraptions called headclamps were used to keep the client still. Many photos showing the headclamp being used are wrongly labelled as Victorian Death Photography. Something to be aware of!