Exhausted! And not because fun was had, no… no fun here and of course the events of last night… DID NOT HELP!  This blog post comes to you courtesy of my adventures with one very drunk, very angry, very possessive woman… and from a Northern Ontario number.

First came the hang-ups. After number 5 or 6 I finally had to turn my phone off.  This now adding to my sleeplessness, because I became paranoid that my only working alarm… on my phone may not go off and what if there is an emergency and someone was trying to get a hold of me? My alarm went off, but after 3 hours sleep, I wanted to throw my phone against the wall.

Did I mention I’m exhausted?  After stumbling to the shower, trying to wake myself up, I now have a cup of coffee in hand and turned my phone back on to see what else to expect… golly gee… of course there is more.  3 very nasty voicemails.  Thank the gods my phone plan only allows 3 of them, I can just imagine!!!  But, it get’s better… oh… it truly does…

These were the best drunk, angry, crazy ass bitch voicemails EVER!  EVER!

• They took place at either a party or a bar, familiar loud music was playing in the background.
• One of the voicemails even had you tag teaming with one of your girlfriends.  Rather drunk girlfriends I might add.  Who by the way, was so incoherent, I hope you sent her home in a cab.
• One took place in the bar/party’s bathroom cause… the toilet flushing… NICE TOUCH!
• The second call, which led to the third I’m sure… the message part stopped abruptly when the person you were so angrily calling about started having a conversation with YOU!  At this point of the game, you should have turned your phone off.  Instead, I’m assuming you put the phone on the table and I got to hear your conversation.  It may have been for my ears, cause yes, I recognized the voice.  Bravo to you {sarcasm font needed here}!!!
• The third call, with all the laughing in the background.  I think you’ve found your calling… YOU are your friends entertainment!

Just a few pointers for you, for the next time you decide to go all crazy ass bitch on someone.

• You can actually trace cell phones to the city they are registered in.  So ya, I know what Northern, Ontario city this came from.
• The ‘man’ you kept referring to… Honey, he’s all yours.  Keep him, because trust me, when I start getting crazy ass bitch calls because of a man… he’s not worth my bother.  As a matter of fact, keep him there!  Let him entertain YOU for a while.
• You might want to block your number next time, cause, well… now that I have it.   I will be calling you at 3… 4… 5 am, FROM A BLOCKED number.
• NOTE to the guy… You might want to be careful where you leave your cell.  Apparently crazy ass bitches like to snoop.  I shouldn’t even be helping you out here but…