Grow Your Own Boyfriend

Yesterday I had my annual Happy Thanks Ghouling.  Some of my favourite Ghouls and Boils were here including MY DEALING.  Michelle a.k.a MY DEALING brought me the best hostest gift I’ve ever gotten.  A ‘Watch it Grow Boyfriend’. Since receiving him, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into it.  I mean really, there are a tonne of advantages of having a boyfriend I CAN grow and guess what… I made a list.

1.  I never have to date AGAIN!  If I need male companionship… put my ‘Watch it Grow Boyfriend’ in water, poof.  Instant boyfriend.

2.  According to the packaging, he’ll think I’m hot, never hit on my best friend, will talk to me on the phone for hours AND will actually NOT be terrified to introduce me to his friends as… his girlfriend.

3. He won’t snore or hog the bed.

4. He will NEVER argue with you, if he does, back in the package he goes.

5. Won’t eat off your plate and you’ll never have to feed him.

6. He won’t pee in the shower or all over the toilet seat.

7.  The toilet seat will always be down.

8. He will always be on time.

9. They won’t talk through movies, eat all the popcorn or judge you for your ‘bad movie nights’.

10.  I never have to worry if they are going to actually call back… ‘I’ll call you later babe,’  will be a thing of the past.

11.  Did I mention they will never hit on your best friend…

DISADVANTAGE – They don’t come with a penis, but I have a strap on for that…

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