Bizarre conversations that happen in the elevator of my building. {I need to start recording these and do a book} Ok.. this one wasn’t as bizarre as most, just one of the more skeezie ones. You had to be there and this requires a comic strip… wait a minute… that gives me an idea.

First off… I got in the elevator, pushed my floor… but it proceeded to go to the penthouse. Mr. MoMo get’s in, some other random guy I’ve never seen before gets in. Random guy keeps giving the skeezie up and down action with is eyes… well you get the picture.

Mr. Momo: Good Morning Beautiful.
Me: Good Morning Gorgeous, only one dog?
Mr. Momo: Hubs took the other two out. Turns to random guy, (who is holding bags) grocery shopping?
Random Guy: {looks me up and down} Going to buy meat and beer.
Me: {under my breath, but Mr. Momo heard it} Gross.
Mr. Momo: Meat?
Random Guy: Ya, am having a BBQ, you guys should come.
Mr. Momo: When are you having it?
Random Guy: Tonight, am buying a couple really big steaks. Red… you wanna come?
Me: {Rolls eyes} Sorry I don’t do BBQ’s. (I do, but this guy is sleazy)
Mr. Momo: Ah yes, you don’t eat meat.
Random Guy: She’s doesn’t eat meat?
Mr. Momo: She’s Vegan.
Random Guy: You don’t look Vegan.
Me: {shot him a look with lazer eyes} What’s that supposed to mean? {Normally at this point I actually explain to people that Vegan’s don’t just eat veggies and air, peoples perceptions are wrong, but I just wanted to get the hell out of the elevator}
Random Guy: You aren’t all skinny and starving looking.
Me: {sarcasm font} No I eat quite well, thx…
Mr. Momo: And she’s gorgeous.
Me: Thx Mr. Momo.
Random Guy: {as I’m getting off the elevator} and you have a nice ass.
{shiver} …

On a positive note… I apparently have a nice ass….

and you know my luck… every time I get on the elevator.. he’ll be there. UGG! Solution, I need to figure out how to afford to buy a house. It might mean having a roommate so I can afford to actually live… but am starting to reconsider this again…